Town's Neglected Burying Grounds Deserve Better (1989)

by Jeffrey Bingham Mead
Greenwich Time, Greenwich, Connecticut
November 23, 1989

(Non-photo caption: "The old burying ground was overgrown and in disarray. One of the stone retaining walls had collapsed. The grass was so high on places that the gravestones were obscured. Trees were in dire need of pruning, and dead branches were scattered around the ground. A former neighbor used part of the property as a dump, and I found everything from soda cans to rusted rolls of chicken wire.")

The Town of Greenwich has been the scene of numerous praiseworthy efforts to preserve historic burying grounds, especially those forgotten and neglected over the years.

While this area of Fairfield County has changed and grown, the ancient burying ground have remained little disturbed, as if passed over by time. The effort to preserve neglected historic cemeteries has been enthusiastically received by Greenwich's young people, and, in spite of their diminishing numbers, their accomplishments have been substantial.

The upcoming 350th Founders Day in 1990, in which we will pause to commemorate the settlement of the town, will perhaps see an increased effort for the long term to revive, restore and preserve our historic past for the benefit of present and future generations, in old cemeteries and elsewhere.

I have been asked from time to time why it was so important for me to preserve old neglected burying grounds. My work began in 1984, when I moved to Cost Cob. Around the corner lived my grand-aunt, Miss Mildred Mead, who before she died was a charter member of the Historical Society, along with her sister Frances. Her stories of days gone by, more wholesome days, were the stuff of many enjoyable hours of reminiscences of a Greenwich much less hurried and more content with itself than now. We talked often of our shared heritage and the need to preserve it.

Not far from her house and the east shore of the Mill Pond was one of the old Mead cemeteries. One day I walked down to the old burying ground, and what I found horrified me.

The old burying ground was overgrown and in disarray. One of the stone retaining walls collapsed. The grass was so high in places that the gravestones were obscured. Trees were in dire need of pruning, and dead branches were scattered around the ground. A former neighbor used part of the property is a dump, and I found everything from soda cans to rusted rolls of chicken wire. I was astonished and ashamed at the neglect discovered here, and even angered at the angered at the shallow egotism some Mead's voiced about cleaning up the site.

Both my father and great-grandfather had meticulously maintained the cemetery in the past, and I recall memories from childhood of playing among the tombstones. I realized then and there I had a task to perform, a mission to accomplish. That autumn and winter my work began and eventually I was given the deed to the cemetery – and odd thing for young man in his 20s to receive. Life does have some strange twists, doesn't it?

I began to drive around town looking for other neglected cemeteries, stopping once in a while to explore an abandoned site. One bright winter morning I received a call from Claire Vanderbilt, president of the Historical Society, asking to go out and inspect these to neglected cemeteries. Never mind the time of the call – let's just say it was a memorable wake up.

With Mrs. Vanderbilt at the wheel and Town Historian William Finch, Jr., and former curator Terren Duffin along, we zoomed from graveyard to graveyard, stopping along the way to read the inscriptions, epitaphs and ponder the symbolic motifs carved on the tombstones. Some sites I had not seen before and were, to say the least, in badly neglected condition. Ironically, many of the cemeteries are in some of the most exclusive neighborhoods in town.

There was no doubt that more needed to be done. After reporting my findings to the Historical Society and soothing skeptics about the wisdom of utilizing young people our work began, and I am proud of the successes the youth of Greenwich have made in this area of historic preservation. It is an example worthy of emulation.

I will be the first to tell you that preserving graveyards does not elicit the glamour of preserving historic houses or other worthy causes. I find these unique historic sites to be mysterious and intriguing, representing a darker side of our heritage. The preservation of a cemetery is not meant to evoke feelings of nostalgia, or make these places into gardens, with less emphasis paid to the gravestones and the stories and lives behind them. To truly dignify these sites and our heritage at the same time is to memorialize the efforts of our ancestors to cope with the limitations of their humanity.

In past years the government had a role in this, as specified in the laws of Connecticut concerning neglected and abandoned cemeteries. Some of this is still carried out locally by the Parks Department, and given budgetary constraints, it is amazing that they do as much as they do. We know all too well the reality of limited budgets coupled with other projects and priorities for the town. After all, the average taxpayer asked to choose between having his or her park maintained or an abandoned cemetery down the road, knows which will be given priority. We all know that government is not a cornucopia of funding for all things.

I have met through the years many follow Yankee founding family descendants who are very proud of their heritage, and a minority are rather snobby about it, I'm sorry to say. How strange. Was the neglect of our heritage, as found in the final resting places of our ancestors, for whom we owe so much, something to be proud of? I don't think so. Given that most neglected cemeteries in Greenwich are private family plots, surely descendants can organize themselves to avoid this embarrassment. This is where preservation becomes more a personal experience. This is how I felt when I cleaned up the old Mead plot in Cos Cob.

The wave of the future, in dealing with the problem of neglect of these historic sites, is the creation of cemetery preservation associations, or "friends" organizations. It is a welcomed trend. Cannot some of the residents of Round Hill pool their resources and efforts to maintain and restore Burying Hill? Will residents of Byram band together to help save valuable taxpayer dollars by taking over the care of the Old Burying Ground ay Byram Shore? Since most of the neglected and abandoned sites are family plots, why can't those descended from the forebears who founded this town take care of the historic grave sites of their ancestors?

I have met many Yankee founding family descendants who are very proud of their heritage, and a fine example could be set by working cooperatively, constructively and harmoniously, pooling a variety of talent and teamwork. My dream is to see all of her oldest historic burying grounds preserved in this way. Hartford has a fine example and its independent Ancient Burying Ground Association, which has transformed the old cemetery in the center of the city into one of the most visited and appreciated landmarks in the state. Truly Greenwich can do this too.

These ancient and historic burying grounds of our town are well worth preserving. It is here that the secrets to the past are found discovered, where descendants like myself, and so many of you, can find tangible links to our heritage.

The epitaphs whisper their play on words and poetic verse, the graves of veterans are reminders of the sacrifices made to keep us strong and free, carved weeping willow trees and death-heads attesting to earlier attitudes about life and death, and so much more. A stroll through these places is a trip back in time and places now mostly found in books, a way to link the family past with the present.

I hope that Greenwich residents -especially descendants both here and far from this town- will join in the spirit of the upcoming 350th anniversary of the founding of Greenwich and work as the young people of this town have remarkably demonstrated and preserve the old burying grounds of this town. The neglect beckons us to begin our good works – let time not be wasted.

Jeffrey Bingham Mead is a direct descendent of one of the founding families of the town. He is a freelance writer and a member of the Greenwich Historical Society.